bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
