whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
