I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
