apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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