Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
