I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
