I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
