Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just invented taco cereal.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
