You really coming over, don't trick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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