New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
