She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
