Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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