He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
