Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
