i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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