I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
