I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
