Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
