I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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