my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
