shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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