Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
