check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
