Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
