problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
...so i touched it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
