Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
