I puked a lego.
just tell him i said nine months
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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