I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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