Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
