3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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