I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
