I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
love makes seman taste better
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
