Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
