if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
