Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
