you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
