You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
