Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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