everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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