Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
