You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Bring me that man meat
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
