yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
