Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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