if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
