woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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