Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
