What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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