do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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