So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"it" just moved
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
