I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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