i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
