Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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