She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
