I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
