mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
