I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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