I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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