Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
